I became a photographer because I didn’t think I could paint. I became a painter because I could no longer be a photographer. It’s funny how life works out.
I grew up in a family full of exceptional artists, so much so that I judged my work harshly. I never thought I was any good at drawing or painting. In 4th grade, during my after school art class, I painted flowers in a vase. I still remember painting it and even more, I remember knowing at that moment that I would never be a painter. So I became a kid actress. I recently found that painting and it’s actually pretty good. But we are our worst critics.
Fast forward to high school where I was heavily pursuing my acting career while also entertaining myself with a camera. I had my first and second art shows featuring my photography. I submitted to the fair and won 1st place ribbons (which is a big deal when you are a kid). When it came time to choose a college, I went to Brooks Institute of Photography.
After college I started my own photography business and was greatly successful even with a move from California to Oregon. I began teaching marketing to other photographers and helped launch their careers. It was in 2020 that my symptoms began to present themselves.
It started with my feet going numb. Then my legs and my hands. Then my face. I finally saw my primary doctor when sharp pains began shooting through my neck. While we may never know why those pains started, it did lead me down another path of discovery. I got an MRI to see if the pain was being caused by something we couldn’t see. I had multiple lesions in my brain which my primary was convinced was at least one brain tumor and scared me for two days with this idea. When I went into the neurologist's office, sure I had a brain tumor, he called me anxious, said that the lesions were not causing my symptoms, and I quote, “It’s all in your head”. My husband and I were furious because I was clearly not making it up, I wasn’t overly stressed and I had two young boys at home, 5 and 7 at the time, who needed me to function well.
Then my vertigo began and I could barely stand. A functional neurologist had just moved from Portland to our home town of Bend, Oregon and I promptly made an appointment. During the first 30 minutes of testing in my first appointment he determined that it was dysautonomia that was causing the issues. We spent weeks fixing my vertigo as he taught me more about the dysautonomia umbrella and how it might be affecting me. During those weeks I documented my symptoms and what might be the cause. I started to notice that when it became colder than 55 degrees, which was at some point everyday, that’s when the numbness would really kick in. While he couldn’t give a diagnosis, he did say that autonomic dysfunction was likely causing me to have temperature control issues.
I had been wanting to move back to SoCal for awhile so this was a great reason to move back home. As soon as we landed in Ventura, California, we started down a new path of doctors who didn’t understand dysautonomia but who thought my symptoms might be something else. I got a spinal tap to see if it was MS and the results were inconclusive (less than 5% of people get results like this in case you were wondering). My doctors then began to say it was all in my head. Fortunately I have a medical advocate who came with me to see my woman primary doctor (women, please get women primary doctors so you don’t get called crazy!). My primary straight up told us that she didn’t think I was crazy, but that there was nothing more any of the doctors in my insurance could do and I needed to switch insurance companies to see advanced doctors. I am so glad I did.
I ended up with an appointment with one of the best MS specialists in Los Angeles. She redid my brain and cervical scans, but also added a spinal MRI. When she told me I definitely had Multiple Sclerosis mainly in my spine, I smiled. At that point I think she actually did think I was crazy :) She asked twice if I understood what she was saying. I understood that it wasn’t all in my head, it wasn’t anxiety, it was something real that I knew was inside me… and we caught it as early as we could. I’m still really grateful for this journey. But she also said that while the lesions were causing me issues with walking and much of the numbness, my loose hip, knee and ankle joints while walking was likely something else. I also started to have heart palpitations and irregular rhythms as well as intense stomach pains. The ER doctor, who I saw twice in one month, was the first one to diagnose me with PoTS.
After a failed tilt table test, seeing multiple other doctors to determine what is going on, we have concluded that I have MS, Fibromyalgia, Hypermobilism that is likely a very mild version of Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome causing my walking issues, PoTS, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (still haven’t confirmed my diagnosis, but I have pretty bad symptoms), exercise intolerance, and the one that is the most debilitating and destructive to my life: Migraine. Basically I’m a mess… but a beautiful high functioning mess - thank you Jesus!
When I kept photographing clients and noticed that it was taking me 2 days of bed rest after each shoot to recover, I started backing off and looking for a new way to be creative. I started painting for fun. I created a painting of all my mom’s past dogs, which look just like them, and realized I might be good at this painting thing. In 2024 I entered the dog painting in the fair and did not win a ribbon. But I entered. Between July of 2024 and Dec of 2024, I kept painting and even took on commissions for friends and family. In Jan of 2025 I decided to take myself to a new level and began taking some classes online to figure out what I want to say and how I want to say it.
So here we are only a few months later as I launch my website, my Instagram and throw my art out into the world. I feel like a 4th grader in art class again, not sure what the future holds, but this time confident that I am on the path God always intended for me.
- Kel Jordan
Did you know that I used to be a documentary filmmaker? I love to learn people’s stories.
Share your invisible pain story and if selected, I will paint your pain and give you a free digital version of the art with first rights to buy the original at a discounted price.
